What is success? What is failure? Who has been successful and who has not? Have you?
We hear it all the time. “Their second album was a success.” “He was a real failure in life.” Judgements made with such certainty yet very rarely by people in possession of the full facts.
The singer’s album may have been a corker and sold millions, but behind the scenes it was chaos, the band was breaking up, their lives falling apart.
The supposed failure in life may have achieved everything he wanted, and may simply not have desired the same as the person making the comment. Or maybe he overcame incredible personal difficulties that meant just stepping outside was a victory.
What if we don’t try? Should we? Why? Is it better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all?
I’d turn to the bright ones for a verdict, but well Plato lad, I’ve read your book and it didn’t sound like you were too sure, which, given that you spent most of your life considering values, virtues, rights and wrongs, doesn’t fill me with confidence that you have the answers. Plus, I’ve sold more copies of my novel than you did (caveat, when alive!), but then Amazon wasn’t about in your day.
We have the right to fail. That comes alongside the right to try and the right to not bother at all.
For various reasons, I’ve gone down both routes over the years.
Thirty years after I first had the urge, I decided to go for it and published my first novel, The Choreography of Ghosts. The risk of effing it all up bothered me. Of course it did. And did I?
I finished the book, which may count as a success, and I’ve sold a couple of hundred, which maybe doesn’t.
I didn’t expect to buy houses and cars as a result of my work, but maybe to have sold a few more than I have, though I know there are those whose sales are in single figures.
Plus people liked it. They have told me. And not just family and friends.
A person called on Friday morning to let me know she had read it and to offer her congratulations. It made my day. Removed some doubt. It was a nice thing to do and possibly better than two people buying it and both disliking it.
A year ago I wasn’t sure. Now I believe it’s better than I thought, which is a success.
It’s a recurring theme. Thirty years ago I wasn’t convinced I could be a journalist, never mind write a book.
Then I saw a notice pinned to a board in Addingham. A woman called Ethel Best wanted help with her charity work. I braved it, phoned her, went round to her house, wrote the story, she liked it and told other people. My first contacts were made.
Over the years I interviewed politicians, pop and rock stars, high-level business types and most importantly real people, sometimes judged as successes or failures by the stories I wrote.
Yes, there is a difference between being the subject of a court story or a piece about your number one album, but nine times out of ten my work covered the middle distance. People with real lives, experiencing great days and tragedies. Terrible tragedies. I never believed I had the confidence to call them, see them and write their stories. My father certainly didn’t believe it.
He wouldn’t have believed I could edit a paper or write a book either. Neither would that old me.
I did though and last year I also left journalism. It was all over, but it led me to complete my novel The Choreography of Ghosts.
Some times things are meant to be and an unexpected change can lead to a new life. Success or failure? I still don’t know, and it probably just depends on who you ask. It always does.
You can visit my website at andrew-mosley.co.uk for free writing, blogs and a lot more, including extracts from The Choreography of Ghosts, which, if you like it, is available online from Amazon (you can download a free sample from there) and Waterstones, in store from The Maker’s Emporium in Rotherham and The Stripey Badger in Grassington.